Life has its ups and downs and everyone goes through positive and negative. I would like to give you some ideas why I think it’s important to try to be positive. I will not give you tips and tricks of how to dodge the depressing moments instead, I will give you some things to think about.
If you haven’t seen Kylie Jenner talking about 2016, you must watch it. “The year of realizing stuff, and everyone around me we were realizing things”. Its kind of ridiculous how she says it there, but I think it’s kind of true. We all need to realize things before we can take action. Realizing you would like to be more positive is the first step towards positivity. It’s very important to think of what makes you happy and what makes you lean towards negativity. You won’t know this overnight, it needs time and focus. You need to get to a level that allows you to step outside your comfort zone and start tracking where all the sadness is coming from. Not who made you sad but what actually happened or was said. You need to realize that you can’t control actions or words from others but you can control how you respond to it.
When you are done “realizing stuff” and you realized you want to be more positive. Also, know where the negativity is coming from. It’s quite important to take action and start making the positive change. Did you hear bad news? A bad grade? Do whatever it takes to feel better. Go to the teacher to see the test. Cry a little. Feel down. It’s ok if that’s how you deal with it. You go, my friend. Just know there is a time after your emo moment, to pick yourself up and move on. Accept that your teacher won’t change your grade if you gave the wrong answer. Stop feeling down and actually take action for the next test. This doesn’t only apply to simple things like tests and exams. You can use this method to all things in life. Give yourself time but be strict that after that time frame you can’t be sad about it. You will be working towards a better and more positive outcome.
Have you ever noticed that people that are thankful are positive? Being grateful will automatically give you a positive feeling. When I was living in Alabama I would go out to eat at least once a week with friends. One person, in particular, would tell us that in her country (Japan). They thank everyone that helped prepare the food. From the chef to the fisherman. This made me realize that I am not as grateful as I should be. After this, I wanted to be more grateful. I started to thank everyone around me, even if they did something little. I started to compare my case to cases that aren’t as lucky as I was. I didn’t want to take anything for granted. By being grateful, you only think of things you already have and this is key to feel happy. I won’t tell you that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. Many people compare themselves to their role model to get where they want to be. What I do want to tell you is don’t compare status, money or things that one has and you don’t. A comparison can be good yet needs to stay realistic and healthy. Don’t over do it.
Stick to it
I believe this is the hardest part. Sticking to your new ‘lifestyle’. It won’t be easy because you are used to different ways but remember that practice makes perfect. Every time you are down or thinking negative, try to realize that you have control over being either negative or positive. One thing that helps me is that I try to tell myself that nothing lasts forever. Nothing in life is guaranteed or forever. This helps me to just move on. Even If it’s something I really want or get involved in. It’s never too late to join later. In the beginning of my positive journey, it helped me to write all this down in a notebook so when the day came that I wasn’t feeling it. I would read all the positive things. I had written about.
As I said, practice makes perfect but here are some tricks, I know that can help you being more positive:
* Have a place where you can write down all the things you are grateful for. Make it your own. Think of this as your mood board but for the things you already have in life. Stick whatever makes you happy on this page. For example, your favorite quotes, pictures of friends and family, and maybe even tickets or pictures of places you have been to; that makes you happy. I do not recommend for you to take this happy page out whenever something just happened that made you sad. Being sad is part of the recovery and I think it’s important to be as sad, just know after a day or two to get your focus back to what’s happening around you and grab the happy art/notebook. Maybe even call a friend to share some memories or to get some support. Make it a habit that every time you have checked the notebook or talked to a friend and cried, that the next step is to focus on something new. This is perfect to start a new chapter for in your book and make new memories and try things you’ve always wanted. From traveling to a cooking class. You are in charge so you decide.
* Every single day before going to sleep have a notebook to write at least three positive things down that you have done that day. Write at least three things you are thankful for and write what you are looking forward to for the next day. When waking up read this again and start your day with a shot of positivity. This is probably my favorite thing to do because even if I had a bad or busy day I am forced to think of the positive and happy things and pick six things to write down. I then realize that my day really wasn’t that bad. It was just my attitude towards my day. If you want to take this a step further write down what change you’ll be making the next day and set a goal. For example, I want to make people around me happier. Goal: Smile to strangers and give at least 4 people a compliment (but mean it, don’t give a compliment if you don’t mean it ;).
If you are too lazy to write things down you can just think them or share them with a roommate or a friend. I know it sounds so simple but trust me after doing these things you will see that it has a big impact. In Alabama, I downloaded an app that would send me a positive quote every morning a bit after my alarm. I got a lot of positive energy out of that one quote in combination with my morning coffee. It made me mindful of my day and if you start your day calm and positive, your whole day is inspired by these actions.
What are your tricks on staying positive?